Letting go of the cup

Today I witnessed a very funny/very serious fall from a kid here at camp. His name is Cole and he's 9. He was playing hide-and-seek with two other kids who belonged to the camp coordinators here at Sabine Creek.

This is how it happened: He was holding a styrofoam cup and was looking for a place to hide in our staff hang out room. One of his feet didn't lift up high enough to clear his other foot, so he tripped. Yes, he tripped over his own feet. For some reason, he valued whatever was in his cup so much that he continued to grip it even though he was falling. Because he gripped his cup, only one hand was available to stop him from falling. That one hand wasn't enough, so he ate it. Cole landed right on his elbow and nothing else. I heard the thud when his 9-year-old elbow took the fall against the ground. I also noticed one of his crocs had flown across the room. I tried my hardest not to laugh because I thought he was seriously hurt. No worries, he was fine. Despite his initial groan, he assured me that he was ok. After checking him over he continued to find a hiding spot for his hid-and-seek game.

What got me the most was that if he had only let go of the cup, he would not have hurt his elbow. For whatever reason, the ice in his cup was more important even though it spilled out all over the tile when everything was said and done. I believe he might have even been holding the cup as he got up, but don't quote me on that.

I didn't write this story to relive a funny/not so funny moment with Cole. I wrote out this story because I looked at what happened with Cole and saw myself. I've been struggling with God about my single-hood lately. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my prayer life and in these blogs. It's reality for me to see eligible guys and wonder why I'm not being pursued.

I was Cole and what I valued, a relationship, was the cup. I put it on a pedestal and keep it close to my heart because I think it's the only way I will feel cherished or treasured. I could imagine God whispering to me, "Why don't you just let go of the cup? Why don't you give it to me? If you would only let go of it, you wouldn't get hurt."

It was a reminder that God forever wants to be my husband, boyfriend or no boyfriend; fiance' or no fiance'; earthly husband or no earthly husband. He wants to fill those deep longings in my heart and deserves that place in my life. Whether or not I have someone to hold my hand, I'm always going to need God to hold my heart. It's definitely hard to let go because I really want what's inside the cup, but I'm not too sure I know how to take care of myself well if I don't.