This morning I read in John 13 about Jesus washing his disciples feet. One thing I hadn't ever seen before while reading was in the first verse. It says, "Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love." What got me the most was the phrase, "he now showed them the full extent of his love." It was cool to see Jesus troubled that he was leaving and wanting to show his disciples love before he left. I realized that the only way I can serve others the way that Jesus did is to be served by God because service equals love. I need to be loved and cared for by my Father before I can love and care for my brothers and sisters (including the campers). I even wrote this in my Bible "How has God washed my feet today that would give me motivation to wash others feet?"
So I prayed for an attitude of service and grappled with how much I really wanted it, but after that I didn't think much about my devotional time. I went on with Team Building, Lunch Prep, Lunch, and Lunch Clean-up. After I left the camp store, Camo and I went to say hi to some campers that invited her to a Spa track time.
We went inside the cabin and I planned on redoing my nails, but a little girl led me outside so she could show me the foot soak. She showed me where to sit and put a bucket of water in front of me. It was then I realized she was about to wash my feet. I took off my shoes and she put perfumed salts in the bucket that was too small for my feet, but just the right size for God to show himself to me. After she went inside I lost it and cried. I couldn't stop thinking about how much the camp staff does for the campers to communicate love through service and how this girl showed me the full extent of her love by preparing something nice for my feet. The little girl "washed my feet." She served me. She just wanted them to smell good and be smooth, but in reality she was used to do so much more. God washed my feet today through a little girl we have been serving all week.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Letting go of the cup
Today I witnessed a very funny/very serious fall from a kid here at camp. His name is Cole and he's 9. He was playing hide-and-seek with two other kids who belonged to the camp coordinators here at Sabine Creek.
This is how it happened: He was holding a styrofoam cup and was looking for a place to hide in our staff hang out room. One of his feet didn't lift up high enough to clear his other foot, so he tripped. Yes, he tripped over his own feet. For some reason, he valued whatever was in his cup so much that he continued to grip it even though he was falling. Because he gripped his cup, only one hand was available to stop him from falling. That one hand wasn't enough, so he ate it. Cole landed right on his elbow and nothing else. I heard the thud when his 9-year-old elbow took the fall against the ground. I also noticed one of his crocs had flown across the room. I tried my hardest not to laugh because I thought he was seriously hurt. No worries, he was fine. Despite his initial groan, he assured me that he was ok. After checking him over he continued to find a hiding spot for his hid-and-seek game.
What got me the most was that if he had only let go of the cup, he would not have hurt his elbow. For whatever reason, the ice in his cup was more important even though it spilled out all over the tile when everything was said and done. I believe he might have even been holding the cup as he got up, but don't quote me on that.
I didn't write this story to relive a funny/not so funny moment with Cole. I wrote out this story because I looked at what happened with Cole and saw myself. I've been struggling with God about my single-hood lately. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my prayer life and in these blogs. It's reality for me to see eligible guys and wonder why I'm not being pursued.
I was Cole and what I valued, a relationship, was the cup. I put it on a pedestal and keep it close to my heart because I think it's the only way I will feel cherished or treasured. I could imagine God whispering to me, "Why don't you just let go of the cup? Why don't you give it to me? If you would only let go of it, you wouldn't get hurt."
It was a reminder that God forever wants to be my husband, boyfriend or no boyfriend; fiance' or no fiance'; earthly husband or no earthly husband. He wants to fill those deep longings in my heart and deserves that place in my life. Whether or not I have someone to hold my hand, I'm always going to need God to hold my heart. It's definitely hard to let go because I really want what's inside the cup, but I'm not too sure I know how to take care of myself well if I don't.
This is how it happened: He was holding a styrofoam cup and was looking for a place to hide in our staff hang out room. One of his feet didn't lift up high enough to clear his other foot, so he tripped. Yes, he tripped over his own feet. For some reason, he valued whatever was in his cup so much that he continued to grip it even though he was falling. Because he gripped his cup, only one hand was available to stop him from falling. That one hand wasn't enough, so he ate it. Cole landed right on his elbow and nothing else. I heard the thud when his 9-year-old elbow took the fall against the ground. I also noticed one of his crocs had flown across the room. I tried my hardest not to laugh because I thought he was seriously hurt. No worries, he was fine. Despite his initial groan, he assured me that he was ok. After checking him over he continued to find a hiding spot for his hid-and-seek game.
What got me the most was that if he had only let go of the cup, he would not have hurt his elbow. For whatever reason, the ice in his cup was more important even though it spilled out all over the tile when everything was said and done. I believe he might have even been holding the cup as he got up, but don't quote me on that.
I didn't write this story to relive a funny/not so funny moment with Cole. I wrote out this story because I looked at what happened with Cole and saw myself. I've been struggling with God about my single-hood lately. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my prayer life and in these blogs. It's reality for me to see eligible guys and wonder why I'm not being pursued.
I was Cole and what I valued, a relationship, was the cup. I put it on a pedestal and keep it close to my heart because I think it's the only way I will feel cherished or treasured. I could imagine God whispering to me, "Why don't you just let go of the cup? Why don't you give it to me? If you would only let go of it, you wouldn't get hurt."
It was a reminder that God forever wants to be my husband, boyfriend or no boyfriend; fiance' or no fiance'; earthly husband or no earthly husband. He wants to fill those deep longings in my heart and deserves that place in my life. Whether or not I have someone to hold my hand, I'm always going to need God to hold my heart. It's definitely hard to let go because I really want what's inside the cup, but I'm not too sure I know how to take care of myself well if I don't.
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