Today I was assigned to ropes course for the camper's free time. I got to belay kids up a 40 foot rock wall so they could hurl themselves off of a zip line at the top. This is something along the lines of what I told the kids, "My name is Sonflower. I want you to know that we're partners in this. Whatever goal you make, whether it's getting to the top of the tower or just making it halfway, I'm committed to getting you there. I'm here to help you too. If you need help, just call my name and I'll tell you where to put your feet for the next step." Sometimes kids would call down to me and tell me that their arms hurt and I would say, "Hey, it's ok that they hurt because it won't last for forever. You can work through the pain," and it would be enough to get them going again.
There was one kid that I remember with fondness because of his journey up the tower. His name was Quay and was probably going into 6th grade. Quay had a really hard time going up the climbing wall. He would climb, quit, listen to encouragement, convince himself that he could do it, climb, quit, listen to encouragement, etc... He would say things like, "My feet hurt!", "My hands hurt!", "I can't do this!", "Can you just let me hang here for a while?" Needless to say it took him a while, but he made it. There couldn't have been anything to make me more proud of Quay. I didn't even know him, but because I saw him overcome his struggle I couldn't help but rejoice with him when he reached his goal.
I had to stop at one point because the encouragement God gave me to give to the kids reminded me of my spiritual journey. I wasn't feeling too good today. On my break I read my Bible and ask God, "Do you love me?" because I didn't feel like He did today. If anything, I felt as I was waiting until I could stop disappointing God before He could love me. I'm struggling with forgiveness and doing things God's way when it comes to reconciliation. It's not easy for anyone, but I know I still have to deal with it. I honestly just want to ignore everything, but it hasn't worked out so well. When you ignore it on the outside, it doesn't go away on the inside.
I felt like God reminded me that we're partners in life. I'm not alone when it comes to struggles. Just like Quay, He's not going to take me anywhere I don't want to go. He's not going to force me to be sanctified or do things His way. When I am on the path, He is going to encourage me and point to the next step when I get stuck. I tell God all the time that my arms hurt, my feet hurt, and that I'm tired. He's right there with me reminding me that it's ok because the pain won't last forever; that I can work through the pain when He gives me the strength. He's going to get me where I need to be if I'm willing to follow him...all the way up the 40 foot rock wall.
